Ghosting was probably easier than the conversation. The apology shouldn't make this their problem. Three drafts: short, full, no-excuses.
Name the silence for what it was instead of dressing it up as “getting busy.” Acknowledge that disappearing left them confused, and don’t expect a reply for showing up now. An apology for ghosting works when it asks for nothing back, not forgiveness, not a second chance, not even a response. You went quiet on them; the repair shouldn’t become their job.
Nobody is too busy to send one text. Both of you know it, which is why “sorry, things got crazy” reads as a second small insult stacked on the first. Being busy is what happens to your inbox. Going quiet on a specific person is a choice, and pretending otherwise tells them you would rather protect your image than be honest with them.
If the silence was avoidance, and most ghosting is, say that. “I went quiet because the conversation felt hard and I took the easy way out” is a sentence that actually lands, because it is true and they already suspected it. You don’t owe a thesis on why. You owe an accurate name for what you did.
Ghosting is uniquely confusing to be on the receiving end of, because the other person is left filling in the blank with their own worst guesses. Did I do something? Are they okay? Was any of it real? A good apology names that experience without making them spell it out for you.
One line is enough: “I know disappearing probably left you wondering what happened, and that wasn’t fair to you.” You are not narrating their feelings back at them or claiming to know exactly how it felt. You are acknowledging that your silence had a cost, and that the cost was theirs to carry, not yours.
Here is the test for whether this apology is actually for them: are you fine if they never respond? If the honest answer is no, if part of you is sending this to reopen the door, then it is not really an apology, it is a re-approach wearing one as a costume. People can feel the difference, and ghosting has already made them good at reading it.
Say your piece and let it sit. No “let me know,” no “would love to explain over coffee,” no question mark engineered to require an answer. If they want to write back, the clean apology is what makes that possible. If they don’t, you have still done the one thing that was yours to do.
There is a version of this where you genuinely want to reconnect, and that is allowed, but it goes after the apology has landed, not stapled to it. Mixing “I’m sorry I vanished” with “want to hang out?” forces them to weigh a request while they are still processing the wound.
Apologize cleanly first. If reconnection is something you want, the most you should do in this message is leave it open without demanding it: “No need to reply. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.” Then close. The three drafts below give you an open-door, a level-headed, and a closed-door version, pick the one that matches what is actually true for you.